Blog-huh?

Once again rainy season is starting ...

I was on my way home from C5 and the traffic was starting to get heavy. So I was supposed to reroute my way to Fort-Makati. But instead I find myself driving to Mckinley Hills.  As I was passing by a coffee place catches my eyes... Black Canyon Coffee. So, I made a U-Turn and find myself a parking slot.


Now, I'm here. The place is empty.. No guest at all.  I'm guessing that I'm there first customer for this evening. When I entered the cafe, they were playing Christmas song... Hehehe... Its still June, the start of the rainy season here in the Philippines.. I wonder what mood the servers are in. Anyhow, they greeted me with a warm "Hello"...


I seated myself outside so I can smoke while I write and kill time.


Gosh... my iPhone is already purring with #MMDA announcement of flooded areas with knee high water level... I'm getting scared.. How will I get home? :(


While I wait here and kill time... I'm thinking of what I can write about...  No topic come to mind that I am in the mood to discuss about...

So lets see... I'll just go with the flow here... wherever my mind will take me...


Today at work, it was a stressy Monday.. I am so pissed on what I am facing because of the BOD's couldn't decide on whether to sell the lot (for the infusion) or not. For a 20k sets of product, I could not commit to my customers. I worked so hard to get 80% of its SKU and all the years of effort, its just going down the drain.. But as a good manager, I try to make ways- solving the problem.


With that, my mood kind of resulted to have a drink tonight. I don't want to talk about work stuff with my friends.. So I wanted to see a live rock band.  But hey.. Its Monday.. Its a dead night.. But that didn't stop me from trying... I searched the web and Im friends..


Kinda lucky... Even though its a dead night there are some couple of places that will have live rock band.. and the bars are pretty cool to go too. But since I'm still stuck here at Fort, I dunno yet if I'll be able to go. Might be too lazy to go out when I get home anyways...


Can somebody up there stop the rain already? I wanna go home na.  My laptop's battery is already draining here...


This rain is making my mood emo.. I'll stop writing while I have the strength to control expressing my melodramatic thoughts to this post... Hehehe!

Peace Out!

ONE: Graduate School

18 months of studying Management in Entrepreneurship at Ateneo Graduate School, Rockwell Center. School will officially start this February and I have 3 modules to accomplish for the whole school year. I'll be studying and working at the same time. I really really hope that I'll be able to enjoy and adapt to the hectic schedule that I will be juggling. I won't be leaving my work as part of Sales & Marketing, I'll be incorporating being a GM and will practicing the learnings on my future studies.

I really hope and pray that I will swiftly achieve and put into practice what I will be learning in school and be able to incorporate the principals/ values to our own company. I hope to prove to my Dad that choosing me is not a mistake.


TWO: Waking Up in the Morning

The first challenge that I encounter in my daily routine. I can't sleep early, no matter how I force myself. I hope my Classes will start 10AM.


THREE: Nicotine Cut-Back

Since Ateneo is a Smoke Free School and I'm pretty sure that my classes will be held on the 4th floor; I hope that my smoking habit will be controllable and (cross fingers) lessen.


FOUR: Friends

Looking forward to meet new set of friends who I can hang out or (maybe) do business with.


FIVE: Year Ending

We shall see....

I gave the speech right after dinner. I remember that i couldn't eat and I drank half a glass of wine to collect my courage. My speech is short and simple, but from my heart. I figured since its a intimate wedding, there is no point of expressing much of the Bride and Grooms personality - the two Bestman covered that part well enough.

I hope that Antonio and (especially) Elaine love and appreciate my what I said that night.


Good Evening Everybody.

I'm Valerie.

Thank you Emma for asking me to be your Maid of Honor, I wasn't expecting it.

I've known Elaine since we were grade 6. Our Friendship blossomed during High School.
Elaine is like a Sister to me. We had our shared trials is life. We Fought, we cried, we laugh, we had each other's back.

When Elaine told me that she got engaged to Antonio - That was the first time we spoked to each other after a year of no communication. I remember, I felt sand and happy at the same time.

Happy, cause my Sister is back.

Sad (for a split seconds), cause I'm loosing her again for the second time.

But now, I've realized that I'm not loosing a sister. Instead, I'm gaining a brother.


To Antonio and Elaine:

I'm wishing you the best of both worlds.
Love each other as if it was the first time.
Pray together before you sleep
And most of All (promise me this), I'll be the Ninang of your first born
... Make it soon!
Love you Both!

Cheers!!!

Its been awhile since I wrote my thoughts out. I wasn't in the mood and I see no significant event that's worth sharing, till now (I guess).


My Best Friend Elaine got married last Friday and I was the Maid of Honor. I remember that I didn't enjoy the seat down dinner cause I was so nervous with my speech. Its short, but its from the heart. I'll post it next time, I wrote it down on a piece of paper and its somewhere in my purse.


Before and after the wedding, I (still) feel terrified. You see, both Rina and Elaine are married and my buddy Q, is engaged. I'm the last one in the circle who doesn't have a partner. I'm scared. I'm really scared that, what if there is no one for me out there? What if I'm destined to be single for the rest of my life? I've been trying to tell myself that its going to be alright, that I will live to accept it. But as each day passes by, I feel hopeless, worried, scared that this is my life would be. I don't want to be single for the rest of my life. I don't want to be lonely. I'm lonely every single day. I mean, I put up a face that I'm alright and strong and I have accepted my singular livelihood but I'm having this melt down or whatever you call it. Gosh, I don't even know if I wanted to post this and share with you all but I wanna be true to myself at one point. I don't want to pretend that my life is great. Funny, cause when people ask me how I am, my answer is already 'I'm great'. Its harder pulling this thing off and not telling anyone the truth about it. It scared me that when I tell, I'll see this pathetic look on their faces and they try tell me that it will be alright, that the right guy will show up soon, all that crap; cause when I look in their eyes, I don't see the hope that someone is out there for me.


How come it feels that I'm the only single person who feels this way? This sucks!

Last December 29,2009 approximately at 5pm in the afternoon when Cha-Cha got home from the Doctor, she passed away. I got this e-mail from my Dad. This made me cry and it was the first heartfelt letter that I got from Daddy. I just want to share it, I'm sure that most of you who had experience the same thing understand how heartbroken and hurt this must. I don't know how to show my empathy to my Father. It felt that I can't do anything to make him feel better and to even ease the pain cause I would have felt the same, if it happens to me. So, I hope my Dad will read this someday and know that I did try to empathize with his on this experience.


From: dpp_chacha@yahoo.com
Subject: I LOST MY BEST FRIEND ( MY PET: CHACHA)
Date: December 30, 2009 4:52:48 AM GMT+08:00

Hello ,

my pet pug died yesterday dec. 29. i had to tell this story since i owe it to chacha who had been with me for almost 9 years since she was 3 months old. after my wife Mellie died i spent a lot of my time taking care of chacha since i didn't want to entrust her to maids who do not know how to take care and love dogs. chacha goes with me to almost everyplace i go to even to my office everyday. she sleeps with me since she was 3 months old.

last nvember i noticed that she had a boil in her legs but very small. as days went by the boil started growing but not very fast. i had her brought to the vet but the vet couldn't operate cause chacha was overweight and she had to go on a diet. about a week ago the boil grew very big and i started to get worried but my vet was on a seminar in singapore. last friday when i came home i noticed that chacha wasn't as active as she used to be and she was just waiting for me to be beside her. i talked to val and said that we should bring her to the vet on monday since i notice the boil was starting to bleed on sunday.

val brought chacha to the vet on monday and the vet had her stay overnight for some test to find out whether he could operate. this afternoon at 2:00 pm the vet called me to pick up chacha since her x ray machine had problems and she said that she gave her antibiotics sor the boil and to bring chacha back on january then she will operate to remove the boil.i had my driver and maid pick up chacha. when chacha got home entered my room beingcarried by the maid she looked at me and went into a massive heart attack but without any sound.

when the maid placed her on my bed at first i didn't notice that she died but i didn't like the way the maid placed her on my bed. i went over to straighten her and noticed she had died.

i can't help myself from being sad and alone. i will miss my chacha. she will always have a place in my heart. my routine will have to change abruptly.

i thank God for giving me chacha and the time i spent with her. chacha was not only my friend but she made me realize that taking care of others is such a fulfilling value.

i will always have such a friend as chacha in my heart to remind me of values that i have to give and conquer as i go to fulfill my destiny.

a pet is forever

Denis

No more work for me! More time to blog, if I'm not lazy enough.

So Q, When are we gonna have that photo shoot? I know you check my blog from time to time. hehe! Can't wait to this new experience! Let's do it before the 24th, para payat pa ako. LOL E=mail me or Call me! Clean na your lens!

I'll be at Rockwell tomorrow afternoon. Christmas shopping!

Friends (you know who you are), I'm free except friday and sunday (you know why).... Starbucks gang na tayo?!

I miss you two Lovebirds!

ITs time to catch up!

>>>>>> 3:30 na, and still not sleepy. *Hay* =<

Date: 13 December 2008 @ 9:00 PM
Location: Moksha Bar at Greenhills, San Juan
Occasion: My Achie Izah’s Birthday Party



I don’t like the taste of alcohol drinks, especially tequila. I think it’s the worst tasting drink, plus the hang over I get the next day. It can turn me into a bulldozer! LOL


That night, for the very first time, I drank a shot of Bacardi 151 together with my friend Pia. Pia is like me, we both don’t like drinking alcoholic beverages. We both are allergic to beer and possess a low tolerance for Alcohol - One Shot of drink and we’re out (at least, I know I am). When Carlo (Pai’s boyfriend) handed us the shot glass filled with Bacardi 151, Me and Pia protested on sharing the shot. I took us 15 minutes to plead to everyone to agree. When they did, here’s the count down.



Three, Two, One,
Now, Fall in my arms now.






This is the nastiest drink I ever tasted!

I’ve been thinking, I haven’t written something personal in my Blog lately, the main reason why I started this.

I just finished watching “Sex in the City - The Movie”. The first time I watched it, it was still showing in Movie Theaters. I couldn’t remember which month though. Anyways, I was with my Aunt Bebeth, who was here in the Phil. for a vacation, my Achie, and my cousin Hans with his boyfriend, Paulie who reminds me of the gay bald rich color dresser character in the movie. What was his name? I keep forgetting!

Recalling the Movie, the first time I saw it, I felt that it was the perfect ending for the T.V Series. The whole story of four girlfriends in their Twenties, who were looking for Love, and eventually finding Love. I remember crying at every single “senti” event of the movie at the theater that time, I was almost “crying my heart out”. Good thing that I was not in my own personal space, where I couldn’t drain my tear ducts, or whatever you call it. I could remember I was having these abundant emotions, called Sadness. I was more concentrated at the “hurting” part of the Story. The two major events for me were, Carrie and Miranda’s dilemmas.

Carrie, the center of the story, the shoe addict, the girl who finds Love, and found Love, gave me the inspiration, that no matter how long it takes, it will come, and it will be worth breaking my heart. We might think that we can never laugh again after a heartbreak, but then again, when something really funny comes along the way, we find ourselves laughing again.

Miranda, she is one tough woman! I saw a part of me in her. The part where she was having a hard time forgiving Steve for breaking the Trust, the most important essence of their marriage. I love the scene, where She and Carrie were walking to have a meal at some garden, and Miranda was telling Carry about “the Day”, when She and Steve will meet at the Brookline bridge. Miranda doesn’t know what to decide, weighing the “logic” of it all. Then Carrie just plainly told her that on that day, the decision will come to her. When Miranda keep insisting about her “logic”, Carrie told her that She just have to throw that Logic out the window and be with the man she Loves. That part of the movie made me shiver! That scene says all about Love. When we are in a relationship, we tend to take Love for granted and pay more attention to Logic. But the thing is, when we are in a relationship, we should trust the Love we have, rather than defining the Logic. For Love can’t really be rational at all times. In fact, most of the time, we make things thrive through Love.


A lot of people, even my closest friends might not know this, I pretended that I am okay, showing a happy face, and making them believe that Valerie is full of Sunshine! I know that I shouldn’t be pretend being “happy”, especially to my closest friends. But it’s just hard for me to see them feeling sorry for me. I gotta move on at some point, and I chose to appeared that way.

You see, I think that I’m starting to know why I let myself acted the way I am. Funny thing is, watching “Sex in the City – The Movie” for the second time made me realized what I got to do.

And you know what?

I just have to learn how to forgive.

It’s just now that I realized that I deprived myself for not having “The Life”. “The life” that I dreamed of, “The Life” of being with him. I kept insisting the “logic” to myself, when I should have paid more attention to Love. And for that this is what I’m entitled to.

Better Luck Next Time.

I know (maybe) Someone, Someday, Somewhere, is destined to will make me throw away that Logic, and pay more attention to Love.

As I was scanning for free apps at iTunes for iPhone I came across this app called "Bunnyconnct". But before I tell you what the app is for, I’ll take 5 minutes of your time for some of my Blogging reflections.


I was with a friend last night. He just got back from the States. Chitty chatting at Fort- Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf, with the company of our endless burning cig’s, we hit it off with the usual ice breaker of conversations- catching up with our own lives. He was telling me all about his US trip and I patiently listen and interrupted a lot in the conversation, with questions and jokes. It was pretty hilarious how he was narrating it to me. He was on a hypersonic mode and his eyes, oh his eyes, were getting bigger and bigger every time he will tell me some awesome escapades that made his heart start to pump blood again, as if he was resurrected from the dead! With in his 3 months vacation of the place he used to call home, he decided to move back there. Good Gwad, he already bought a car and rented a place to stay! I guess its time for him for some “culture change”.

He is the only friend of mine who can carry a good conversation, and not to mention a very good Debater. He makes my brain muscles “workout”, every time we get into an argument. He makes me pull-out my stored resources, so I won’t have to wave that White Flag. I hate loosing, especially when I know I’m right. He loves calling me “stubborn”, when I don’t agree with his opinion, and for the first time, he compared me with the one person I loathe the most. That one person that I always argue with, and not a single argument of ours had an ending. That one person I despise for being an arrogant show-off ass. My friend told me this, “You think like him, that’s why you both don’t end any argument you lay on the table. You both can’t accept defeat. He is exactly like you Val, he doesn’t want to wave that white flag too”. This comment made me burst my bubble! How can he say such honest thing to me! I know honestly is the best policy, but c'mon- Not like this! Not surprisingly like this. Its like he drop a Big pile of shit on my head! I was mortified with his comment. Q if you get to read this, rests assured that One Day I’ll make you take back those words and prove to you that I am nothing like him, Absolutely nothing! Haha! I know, I know, you certainly must be laughing your ass out right now and having this pompous smile on your face. You just wait- I’ll prove it to you in time!


Now that was refreshing, letting it all out. LoLz!

About the app, there is nothing really special about it. The special thing about the app is the gadget. This gadget its one of its kind, well so far as my gadget dossier goes.
Check out the source below.
Its really one Cool Nifty Technology Invention.


Source: Nabaztag

I was at panic mode the night before the Wedding of Mr. & Mrs. Uy, for my dress wasn’t ready. This is how it went…

I don’t have any back up dress for the wedding. I have no choice but to wait for my dress to be finished from the dressmaker. The first fitting of my dress took place Saturday evening. Lucky me, only a minor adjustment need to be made on my dress to be wearable for the Wedding Day. The shirring part of my dress needs some fixing. That time, I was in no point of arguing, I need to get my dress that night. Let’s just say, the way it was made was sloppy. It was pretty obvious that my dress was made in a hurry.

I personally didn’t like my dress. I think my Achie’s dress was designed better. It all change when friends started to adore my dress. This is when I stated to feel comfortable with it.




I guess everything worked out at the end. I ended up feeling fabulous and confident that night and I was the only girl in the green dress.

For the very longest time (since I stated my blogging), I wanted to blog about my weekend busyness. Unfortunately my weekend life doesn’t bring enough bash for me to write about. Going back to my “used to be life”, I veer into the “Wheels of Happenings”. Well, at least I have more topics that I can discuss about. My life before was something else. Before I used to dress myself with snazzy outfits, do my hair and make-up and be in the Vogue camaraderie. It was once my salad days, where I was free from the demands of boyfriends and work. All I got to worry was keeping up my good grades, fixations on narcotics (which I only used less than 5 counts), and some other naughty conducts (that I shouldn’t mention of). Being young does have its privileges, like a window of opportunities to do silly stuff that are fun, thrilling, those-where-the-days, to remember. A Nostalgia of congenial, fantastic, and undomesticated memories, My Memories! I love to turn back time and relive that part of my life all over again.

Enough reminiscing.

This is my typical weekend after all that.






Date: 30 Aug. 2008

Location: Moksha, Greenhills

As I checked my Blog Site to reply on my friends comment, this was the number displayed at the bottom of Blog site. I got the feeling that this is the answer to my prayers. The sign that I’ve been asking to help me make my decision. I am (still) internalizing, as I write my thoughts out for my Blog today. The sign that will help me determine the Black or White. Yet, I’m still not decided. I haven’t wholly consumed the courage, for the meet up. HELL, I don’t think I’ll ever decide till that day comes. The day I will finally face my own demon


- Myself.


Thinking about this situation over and over, I’m starting to think that my cousin Moni, is Right. You see, Moni is the only person who thought that O wanted to Meet Up just to Apologize to me in person. I guess, O thought that IM is not personal enough for an Apology. What I don’t get is, why after two, or maybe three years (Who’s counting)? Where we should have already moved past the “being sorry stage” and should be “moving on” with our own lives now. I want to gasp the conception of this type of thinking, cause right now I’m thinking (For worst-case scenario purpose only) that O is having some trouble in his life and his friends (now) are not enough for comfort. I don’t think I can be friends with him. Anyways, I think that its still early to think about this scenario. For now, Let’s leave the “worst case scenario” topic and turn to a different direction – my own sentiment.




You see, I think meeting him has nothing to do about my love for him. I think this is happening for me, for myself. After all this time copping up, moving on, living my life again, in other words, Healing. I got no proof for myself to where I stand, where I am. Before or maybe till now (I let you be the Judge for it), I thought that I was in a place called limbo. Lost. Misplaced. Absent. Unrecoverable. Soul Searching. I think (maybe now), its time to know where I stand. To finally know if I have improved, grown up. He He! I can’t believe that I am saying this, to think that I haven’t still decided if I should or shouldn’t meet him. My head and heart are battling on which decision is best to choose. I don’t want to be stressing about this over and over, so I’m doing this. I’m letting this out. Saying all this, for the world to see and maybe, just maybe there will be hope of good riddance dropping my way to make things a cinch for me. I am scared, terrified of what might happened. This chapter of my life, I might find it hard to handle, or worst, it might put me back to zero. I don’t know if I am ready to face this cost. There is a voice in my head that’s been telling me to “Face it! Meet him Up” and little voice in my heart saying “what if you are not ready?”. These supposed to be like my sub-conscious (right?), helping me to decide the best choice, but as of now it makes my DSS harder.


The number 24 signifies a special number in my life. It’s the number of our anniversary day. When I ask for a sign, I think HE will select something that gives importance to me, something only I can distinguish.

Coming back to the office, I was not prepared to have this conversation.


Oliver Co: pssst...
Oliver Co: busy?
Vmlipio: yes? sorry. was out
Oliver Co: im happy to hear that you messaged me back
Oliver Co: just checking
vmlipio: ah... okie.
Oliver Co: i just opened my old y now
Oliver Co: ym
Oliver Co: it works pa pala
Oliver Co: where you at?
Vmlipio: of course it works....
Vmlipio: office.
Vmlipio: i just got back lang eh. its raining hard outside
Oliver Co: same here
Oliver Co: lunch out?
Vmlipio: nope... errands.
Vmlipio: errands for dad
Oliver Co: hmmm
Vmlipio: how are you?
Oliver Co: i see
Vmlipio: bilis mo na mag type ah!
Oliver Co: im good
Oliver Co: hehe
Oliver Co: improving ba
Oliver Co:?
Vmlipio: yeah.... you are...
Oliver Co: i wanted to see you
Oliver Co: if thats ok with you
Vmlipio: hmmmm.....
Vmlipio: haha!
Vmlipio: wow!
Vmlipio: i
Oliver Co: do i have to beg?
Vmlipio: i'm speechless
Oliver Co: pls
Oliver Co: saturday?
Oliver Co: i just want to talk
Vmlipio: i can't saturday. got plans na. maybe next weekend....
Vmlipio: talk?... we can chat now
Oliver Co: ic
Oliver Co: ur right
Oliver Co: maybe next time
Oliver Co: how are you?
Vmlipio: i'm okey.
Oliver Co: glad to hear that
Vmlipio: nothing much has changed
Oliver Co: i really wanted to see you
Vmlipio: its weird noh? since then, never bump into you...
Oliver Co: btw, i got ur new sun no.
Vmlipio: talaga? from whom?
Oliver Co: il let you know when i see you
Vmlipio: haha! why is that so?
Vmlipio: secret ba?
Oliver Co: so we could have more tpic to talk to
Oliver Co: hehe
Vmlipio: haha! i don't think that will be one of our problem.
Oliver Co: i know we have more to talk
Oliver Co: we havnt spoke in?
Oliver Co: years?
Oliver Co: i just wanted to catch things up
Vmlipio: well, kinda think of it. parang wala naman to talk about eh. just the usual 'how' and 'who's'
Vmlipio: yeah... years..
Vmlipio: haha!
Vmlipio: tagal na noh?
Oliver Co: sobra
Oliver Co: it cold happen pala
Oliver Co: could
Vmlipio: Just answer this for me. Why now, after all this time?
Oliver Co: i still care
Oliver Co: you know that it was very hard for me
Oliver Co: durng that times
Vmlipio: oh my... let's not start the drama.... we should be done with it
Vmlipio: haha
Oliver Co: i hope its not too late
Oliver Co: i mean
Oliver Co: i just hoe you could see me
Oliver Co: pls find time
Oliver Co: but i will inderstand
Oliver Co: understand
Oliver Co:if you think we should not
Vmlipio: set a date next week. i'll see you. you can ask me the questions. But first, who gave you my number?
Oliver Co: no one
Vmlipio: You want the honest opinion on your question?
Oliver Co: hit me
Vmlipio: Haha!
Vmlipio: your not oliver.....
Vmlipio: who's this I'm chatting too?
Oliver Co: its me
Oliver Co: why would you think that?
Oliver Co: hey val
Oliver Co: its me
Oliver Co: can you call me?
Oliver Co: in my office
Oliver Co: hey you there?
Vmlipio: yes
Vmlipio: fine fine fine.... if you are oliver, what was the last thing you said to the the last time we talked?
Oliver Co: when you viited me at home?
Oliver Co: val its me
Vmlipio: yeah
Oliver Co: we didnt agree with one thing then
Oliver Co: pero hinatid kita sa kotse sa kotse ni rob
Oliver Co: sabi ko nga ako na maghatid sayo e
Oliver Co: val its me
Vmlipio: alright... its you
Vmlipio: schedule it na lang next week. weekday. greenhills area. i'll meet you there
Oliver Co: im very sorry kung ngaun lang ako nagkaron ng lakas ng loob to talk to you
Vmlipio: i understand.
Oliver Co: thank you


This is the conversation I just had earlier today with my Ex. He wants to meet up. It was aggressive of him asking me that.

You see we had a very bad break up. Ever since the time I went to visit him, which was a very long time ago. Faith didn’t seem to see it fit, fit for us to meet up accidentally after the break up. No bumping to each other into the mall, or even seeing one another in the car on the streets, not a even a glimpse or a shadow that prove that the both of us still exist in the world. I wasn’t anticipating this, Not at All. The nearest thought is, I know that this will happen One Day – The Day That I Was Not Supposed To Know That We Are Going To Meet Up.

Now, I don’t have to worry about it. Since its Him, not Faith that let the “supposedly meet up” happen. I don’t know how to decide, decide if I will or will not meet him up. My head feels like whirlpool. I’m thinking of things that I shouldn’t be thinking about. I have these thoughts in my head that I shouldn’t be worrying about. I’m scared, to tell you honestly. I don’t know if this is a sign that I moved pass the Hell that I’ve been into, or even in it. Dammit!

I’ll be facing this problem a week from now. I have yet to decide. I hope I can gain the right Choice for this one. I also hope that I will have the strength to move past and be done with it.

I have yet to decide for now.
May all the Angles help me!

Verdict is Should I or Shouldn’t Meet Him Up?

Its was raining cats and dogs that cold Saturday night. My sister who is still recovering form flu decided to stop taking her dreaded medications in favor for the legendary SMB Light…

Earlier that night…

I was in the shower in a hurry to get myself cleaned. I over heard my Amah arguing with my Achie to stay home. On her defense, Achie reasoned out to Amah to just let her go and have her SMB weekend at peace. Knowing my Achie, she must, in any way, gotta have her SMB weekend nights accomplished by any means.

Dressing up quickly with hardly time to blow dry my hair, I rushed out my room while putting my hair into a knot and balancing my bag on my shoulder. On my heels, I was between walking and running. I hopped on the stairs, out the door, and into the Van. Catching my breath I settled myself on the seat. I popped the light open, pulled my compact from my sling bag and checked my face in the small mirror I had with me, inspecting the rushed makeup I put awhile back ago.

I decided to treat myself a drink from Starbucks. We dropped Achie off first at Four by Force, since her friend was already waiting, while I with Jamon made a detour to the nearest Starbucks Store around the area.

Chitti-chatting and drinking, Me, Achie and a friend, started to talk giving out our own point with the subject that I cannot fully say what’s it about, since it’s a very delicate matter (as of now), concerning critical issues. The height of the argument was between Me, Achie and her Friend; Jamon was just there drinking and eating BBQ’s and listening to three of us squabbling.

Each one of us has a reasonable point. My Achie was hurt, as she tried expressing her feelings while doing her best to understand the other party’s side. On the other hand, the friend beside me expressed gratitude towards my Achie’s concern while explaining to me the issues on the matter. Hoping that it will subside soon, so we can move on with our lives. On the contrary, I’m not much focused on the distant future but more on wanting/needing to be “comforted” right here, right now.

Before saying anything more with the topic. I like to say to the readers who are part of the issue. Its not my intention to write and stir things up. This is just my opinion. I highly doubt, that it will come to that point. But anyways, as early as now, I would like to apologize if I do, offend anyone. Like I said, its just my point of view and I don’t intend to displease anyone saying anything more with the topic. .

My point of view: When one is hurting and vulnerable, I believe that it’s best to agree initially with the person, even though he or she might be wrong in ratio with the problem. We all come to learn that not all humans could absorb the rational reason behind the problem’s situation. So initially, to gain the person’s confidence and for the person to feel that friends are empathizing with the situation, I think its best to just shut up, listen and nod, till the person comes to his or her senses to think rationally about the problem. In this way, comforting will be held on its place and will not misinterpret comfort with attacking. It’s one way to reach out. Some of you might find this to be a hypocritical way of solving things. I am not saying this will solve the problem. I am merely giving out my thoughts of the comforting matter. I think with regards to solving the problem, logical reasoning can be injected when the person is already comforted, and with his/her mind is in its rational state.

Initially I started this Blog as my “Cyber Diary”. I needed something to keep my sanity. I have this sort of depression, which I think I brought upon Myself. I think its an insecurity that has something to do when I got my heart broken; broken by someone I thought to believe that we are destined to belong together and Finding out later that he wasn’t strong enough to be My man. Obviously I got that line from a song. That used to inspire me. Haha!

I like to do a lot of things, ones that give me boosts, boosts of interest, which help keep my little fountain of sanity (metaphorically speaking). Whenever I do get my hands on that new particular interest of mine. I start to read text, do experiments, Google and even Wikipedia it. In other word, I like to learn a lot about it. Then have fun with it as I go along. I want to be good at it. Let me rephrase that. I want to be the Best at it! Let just say the faster the fountain fills the pool, the quicker the sun absorbs the water. Thus, leaving me depressed and later on leading myself to do another search.

One Tuesday night, I went out with my friend Q. We headed to EastWood City for a change of atmosphere. We always go to Greenhills. I don’t know exactly how we spend our time there. Maybe it’s because I live near the area or maybe we just got use to it, or maybe both. Hehe! I brought my laptop with me, since he always bring his red laptop (You Do Q!) everywhere with him. Its like an extension of his clothes, besides from his iPhone and his SLR Camera.

Getting out of his little white car, peering over to the newly painted walls of the parking lot and admiring the star shape patter over the wall, we headed straight to the mall. I always grown fond of Q’s car but he will be selling it! I told him to keep it instead. That little white hatchback civic (LovelyPit as he calls it) bolsters lots of memories. One is, Me burning the side of the interior. I wasn’t drunk or stoned. It was pure carelessness. Knowing me, I did it while I was getting carried away with my blabbing. Haha! I was lucky he didn’t charge me for the damage I’ve cost. Instead he gives me a little pesters every now and then.

After a little window shopping with empty bags on our hands, we looked for a place to fill his empty raucous stomach. Choosing from different varieties of Cafés and Restaurants, We ended up at Starbucks! If there is a place in Manila, or Any place for that matter, You won’t miss me hanging out - it will be Starbucks. Yes I am a Starbucks-Coffee-Dependent *with a grin*.

At Starbucks while lining up to order our drinks, Me and Q were discussing the difference between RockBand for Wii and for Xbox. Since Wii came out with the latest game for Guitar Heroes, which is RockBand Special Edition that including another sets of Guitar, Drum and Microphone. I must give emphasis on the Drum set. From the looks of it, it’s way cooler. They even added fan-like cymbals besides the 4 cylindrical drums and the foot pedal. Besides the new sets of console, additional songs were added. Wouldn’t it be nice if the Song “Call Me” by Blondie would be one of the list? Its one 80’s song that still rocks! Another 80’s song “I Touch Myself” would make the list more awesome! Yeah! It will make my RockBand dream complete, err… Almost!

Insight: Disappointment. I made a mistake! All the while I thought the song “I Touch Myself” was sang by Blondie till my friend corrected me (I even ask him to Wikipedia there and then, just to confirm) that is was sang by the Divinyles. This hurts my accumulated knowledge of the music world. Haha!

Getting tired of EastWood and its surroundings, we decided to transfer to another location (another run on). We collected our stuff that were on the table and these included my pack of Winston Lights in its cute little rubber devil case and the newly bought plastic lighter in jet-black (since the fluid from my favorite Chrome-Black Playboy Zippo dried up). Q packed his stuff as well - Marlboro Cig’s, SLR Cam, etc. We headed to the parking lot towards the LovelyPit, and this is where we started to talk about my Blogging.

The current interest of my life…

Earlier today at my house near the door entrance, I stumbled in some cluster of Clovers. I didn't know that we have those. So, I got my Digicam, and began to take some shots. Hoping to have one shot out of the batch that would look appealing. But my digicam unfortunately was in a Smokey situation. Due to the effect of temperature. I couldn't get a clear shot. I got this foggy upshot of the clustered clovers, as you see the pictures.


Then it began to drizzle. In a hurry, I took shorts with water drops on the clover leaves. This pictures I find to be more arresting. I love the idea of fresh ! Something raw, untouched, like a virgin. Hehe! Its like, its born without any flaw or sins of whatever kind.


I also was hoping to find a four leaf clover. To get my luck elevated! Who knows maybe the legend of the Iris Leprechaun is true. Then i would find a Pot of Gold and all of my financial worries will dissolve!I could even buy my dream rest house and car! Hehe! If only its true. But first things first like any other treasure seekers, I must find the Item first to get to the next level.

Oh my! My little baby, Cha Chu is sick! I don’t know what’s wrong with her. Last night, she didn’t touched her food. She just took a sniff and went to the other end of her crib.In bed, she squeezed her little stout body next to mine. Its like she was telling me to cuddle her to sleep. Result was I slept late last night. Cuddling and snuggling my little boo boo. Scratching her belly with the tips of my fingers, trying to make her sleep. At the same time, trying to feel what kind of pain she is in.

The next morning, I showered and got dressed for work. She still didn’t want to get out of bed! This got me worried. When I left, I ask my yaya to make her her favorite food (which was only given to her on Fridays). It worked! But with the extra notable feeding gesture of making Subo. Haha!

My baby really have her moments of loony days!

I've been thinking lately about my personal cyber blog. At first my intention was for my personal viewing with an undersized links of mine. But It had me thinking - to be more active in this avocation of mine. I wanted more readers, attraction, impact, and most of all inspiration. If you noticed I don't have a common denomination about what my subjects are about. I found myself to be universal, in a sense. I talked about what ever interest me that instant; what things i dream of, what movie gives me inspiration to have some aim or vision. My personal experiences that highlight my week, for that matter. Simple data.

I want to start something I can take with me in the years to come. I want this to bloom. To amuse or delight my friends or readers perhaps. To share common interest, talk abouts. Something maybe I can start by doing on a monthly basis. I'm proposing to launch a podcast. I will try to come up with one. Hopefully within the month. I am open to anyone who wants to be active to this. I'm still scouting for the essential things that I'll be needed to make this wish of mine to reality.

As of now this is all I can share. Who knows, maybe tomorrow, I have another great idea to make it work.

The next night I had a dream again. This one is more vivid compare to the other night. I work up crying. Literally crying! Tears are rolling at the side of my eyes. My face in a shush expression. I remembered as I open my eyes, I can’t believe I was crying over a non-sense dream. I was being teased that I was a loser for not being one of the group over some peppermint candy! Yes, peppermint candy. Its quite odd, cause its not yet near the holidays and I’m dreaming over a novelty item. Going back to my dream, I was with a group of people who’s holding the candy and I’m not one of them. It was not the usual shape of a cane. The candy was in a vertical shape. The colors are not your typical red and white. This one is in blue and black, peculiar huh? I was the only one with out a candy in my hand. Scouting the room, Its wasn’t a room per say. It was a room filled with apple green colored grass. No flowers visible at the area, but small trees, not like the japanese bonsai. Its a little bigger about 2 feel in hight. The trees doesn’t have any fruits. Just leaves - shades of pale green and moss green.

It kept bothering me why I was the only one without a candy. I began asking people who seems that I was non-existent in the room. Its like I’m not one of them, like an alien - more of a ghost. It didn’t slip to my mind to create a motion, to distract people and notice me in the apple green room. All I did was trying to talk to them and get their attention. But I wasn’t successful. It didn’t work. Not even a bit. I got nobody’s attention. I felt defeated in a war, that I don’t even had a chance of winning on the first place.

I woke up.

See how dreams can be so puzzling. How can it be said that it is the subconscious part of our mind that the brain is trying to extract into actions. How can a peppermint candy mean anything to me? Or even the apple green room. How can it be a representation or some sort of - whatever you call it.

Really twisted!

I'm sure you have one of those days when you had this weird dream. I just had it, not so long ago. Since I don't want to forget about it, I'm putting it to writing.

I was in a house and then my ex-boyfriend was there and guess what? We were back together. I can't remember vividly what happened during that time. Its was a mixture of surprise and anger to me. I don't even know the reason why I got back with him. Next thing i know (happening from my dream), that we are trying to make a baby. At this point - if it was in reality, i'll be married first to him, before making the baby. I'm completely blank on what to write next, cause the next thing i remember was my dog - Cha Chu was pregnant with four different dog breed. A Labrador, Poodle, Collie, and a Chihuahua. When she was about to give birth, subconsciously I know that She was going to give birth but I left her alone and she ended up dying. I'm not sure exactly who i was with at this time. I was with someone in the car driving while Cha Chu was at the back seat. I woke up holding my Dog beside me and telling her, securing her that it wont happened in real life. I felt guilt on how can I have such a dream.

I was having late lunch and began thinking what my cousin's boyfriend told me about dreams. He said that dreams are your subconscious thoughts. If it is so then, at the first part of my dream should mean that I am wanting to have a baby, Right? And the second part is that I want to get rid of my Dog? In reality speaking, or should I say - eyes wide open, we know what we want and to think of. i mean some how we can control it, the emotions we have with in. You see i'm confused on why we have such weird, eerie dreams. I'm sure others have not only experience weird nor errie but grotesques, or even have to do with life taking, molesting, or even worst like incestuous dreams. I don't think that "subconsciously" we dare to do it in the future or even experiencing it. You know what I'm saying?

I am writing this to clear my thoughts. Maybe someone could enlighten me with this kind of issues. Or better yet, its my own self-absorb stance to clear off, trash the useless vain - inadequate notion.