Blog-huh?

Remember my last post with the mystery guy?  Im stopping the communication., I have come to accept that I am falling for him.. Weird right?  I haven't met the person but Im having the anxiety and already overthinking.. When he doesn't text, I find myself wondering about him all the time..  What is he doing? Is he thinking of me? Will we really meet? Are his words true?  Is he for real?  Could it be more that this?  When will be our next video call?  These questions rush in my head, feeling both positive and negative..  I find myself day dreaming about the future, the positive future and hope that I'll be in a relationship and maybe this time it will be the last.. A girl can dream diba? Hehe!

I admit, I got smitten by mystery guy at first video call.. I felt something that I didn't fell with Chad, my last relationship.. 5 years with Chad and he never given me a phone call, I had to ask him to call me.  With the mystery guy he gave that to me without me even asking for it.. It felt so good, it felt that I matter.. From there on, I thought we had a connection, a more deeper connection compared to the guys I'm just texting with..  But lately I noticed a change,  he is being skeptical and skittish.. 

I don't like being rejected.. The next time he message me, Ive decided to be upfront with my feelings.. I'll tell him how I feel and my intewntions..  Although, I get the underlying message that he is probably unsure or just being nice to me; (thats what my gut is actually telling me)..   I need the confirmation.

I think, I owe it to myself to stop this things being dragged out.. I'm over thinking, I'm getting anxious, I'm getting pissed, and I'm beginning to feel hurt..  So Im going to face my fear of rejection and hope it wouldn't hurt more compared to what Im feeling now..