Blog-huh?

"I miss you"

I want to tell you that, Chad.

But instead..

I'll get busy to have no time to think about you.
I'll forget you to forgive you.
I'll find happiness to not be sad for you.
&
I'll someday I won't  be think about you.

The red color that burns my eyes
The leather that is very smooth to my touch
The quirky style that shouts out my personality
So much for the wait,
I lost the red bag

I've been eying on this bas since last year, December. I told myself that I will buy it before Christmas, so I won't be tempted to use it before the 24. Alas, when I came back for it, it was already sold out. Only one branch of Kate Spade Boutique sells is here in Manila. I'm keeping this one in my Investment List. I hope that soon, this bag will be available.

I've been thinking lately about my personal cyber blog. At first my intention was for my personal viewing with an undersized links of mine. But It had me thinking - to be more active in this avocation of mine. I wanted more readers, attraction, impact, and most of all inspiration. If you noticed I don't have a common denomination about what my subjects are about. I found myself to be universal, in a sense. I talked about what ever interest me that instant; what things i dream of, what movie gives me inspiration to have some aim or vision. My personal experiences that highlight my week, for that matter. Simple data.

I want to start something I can take with me in the years to come. I want this to bloom. To amuse or delight my friends or readers perhaps. To share common interest, talk abouts. Something maybe I can start by doing on a monthly basis. I'm proposing to launch a podcast. I will try to come up with one. Hopefully within the month. I am open to anyone who wants to be active to this. I'm still scouting for the essential things that I'll be needed to make this wish of mine to reality.

As of now this is all I can share. Who knows, maybe tomorrow, I have another great idea to make it work.

The next night I had a dream again. This one is more vivid compare to the other night. I work up crying. Literally crying! Tears are rolling at the side of my eyes. My face in a shush expression. I remembered as I open my eyes, I can’t believe I was crying over a non-sense dream. I was being teased that I was a loser for not being one of the group over some peppermint candy! Yes, peppermint candy. Its quite odd, cause its not yet near the holidays and I’m dreaming over a novelty item. Going back to my dream, I was with a group of people who’s holding the candy and I’m not one of them. It was not the usual shape of a cane. The candy was in a vertical shape. The colors are not your typical red and white. This one is in blue and black, peculiar huh? I was the only one with out a candy in my hand. Scouting the room, Its wasn’t a room per say. It was a room filled with apple green colored grass. No flowers visible at the area, but small trees, not like the japanese bonsai. Its a little bigger about 2 feel in hight. The trees doesn’t have any fruits. Just leaves - shades of pale green and moss green.

It kept bothering me why I was the only one without a candy. I began asking people who seems that I was non-existent in the room. Its like I’m not one of them, like an alien - more of a ghost. It didn’t slip to my mind to create a motion, to distract people and notice me in the apple green room. All I did was trying to talk to them and get their attention. But I wasn’t successful. It didn’t work. Not even a bit. I got nobody’s attention. I felt defeated in a war, that I don’t even had a chance of winning on the first place.

I woke up.

See how dreams can be so puzzling. How can it be said that it is the subconscious part of our mind that the brain is trying to extract into actions. How can a peppermint candy mean anything to me? Or even the apple green room. How can it be a representation or some sort of - whatever you call it.

Really twisted!

I'm sure you have one of those days when you had this weird dream. I just had it, not so long ago. Since I don't want to forget about it, I'm putting it to writing.

I was in a house and then my ex-boyfriend was there and guess what? We were back together. I can't remember vividly what happened during that time. Its was a mixture of surprise and anger to me. I don't even know the reason why I got back with him. Next thing i know (happening from my dream), that we are trying to make a baby. At this point - if it was in reality, i'll be married first to him, before making the baby. I'm completely blank on what to write next, cause the next thing i remember was my dog - Cha Chu was pregnant with four different dog breed. A Labrador, Poodle, Collie, and a Chihuahua. When she was about to give birth, subconsciously I know that She was going to give birth but I left her alone and she ended up dying. I'm not sure exactly who i was with at this time. I was with someone in the car driving while Cha Chu was at the back seat. I woke up holding my Dog beside me and telling her, securing her that it wont happened in real life. I felt guilt on how can I have such a dream.

I was having late lunch and began thinking what my cousin's boyfriend told me about dreams. He said that dreams are your subconscious thoughts. If it is so then, at the first part of my dream should mean that I am wanting to have a baby, Right? And the second part is that I want to get rid of my Dog? In reality speaking, or should I say - eyes wide open, we know what we want and to think of. i mean some how we can control it, the emotions we have with in. You see i'm confused on why we have such weird, eerie dreams. I'm sure others have not only experience weird nor errie but grotesques, or even have to do with life taking, molesting, or even worst like incestuous dreams. I don't think that "subconsciously" we dare to do it in the future or even experiencing it. You know what I'm saying?

I am writing this to clear my thoughts. Maybe someone could enlighten me with this kind of issues. Or better yet, its my own self-absorb stance to clear off, trash the useless vain - inadequate notion.