Friday, July 05, 2019
B: hey pansy na nakatulog agad ako kagabi
G: its alright..
G hey.. uhmmm I think we should stop this.. as weird as it sounds, i like you.. I don't think we on the same page though.. so let's just
B: hey hey
B: mahina talaga pasensya mo
B: ok naaman tayo eh
G: its not that.. i know your busy for real and you got other priorities.. is just that, I'm getting emotionally attached and its not good for me..
B: hala batik naman
B: don't stop Val lets just keep on communicating
G: its alright.. it's not you, Im just like this..
G: its just hard for me, Pats.. You'll be glad someday..
B: possessive ka ba
B: wag ka ganyan
B: we can work this thing
B: hiram lang ago walang kasambahay
G: I'm not.. is just I don't want to play games.. I'm sorry if I gave you that idea
B: I don't play games
B: mag kaiba taco ng oras di ko na kayang mag peat page na sa carwash
B: sari ko sayo try mo baguhin and sleeping habits mo
G:its alright, Pats. Im not being possessive.. It's just that Im beginning to wait for your text, and I don't like that feeling. I don't know what's there.. so I want to stop before it gets bad for me
B: ayoko sa tutuo lang
G: I believe you..
B: then don't stop
G: hehe
This is the result of yesterday's decision..
I'm pointing out this:
He didn't answer if he likes me
Ang limbo and dating..
Im thinking; He is unsure.. He wants to take it slow.
Is taking it slow a good thing?
Is taking it slow a good thing?
Tuesday, July 02, 2019
Im having anxiety right now worrying that something could be wrong with me.. Wrong in such a way why I'm still single and couldn't get into a relationship that would last forever? It makes me wonder is there really is a forever? Are there really people who are exempted; that they find someone who accept and love them unconditionally? What happened to the people who doesn't find their partners? Are we forced to accept and teach ourselves to just be comfortable being alone? Whats our consolation price for bring single?
Remember my last post with the mystery guy? Im stopping the communication., I have come to accept that I am falling for him.. Weird right? I haven't met the person but Im having the anxiety and already overthinking.. When he doesn't text, I find myself wondering about him all the time.. What is he doing? Is he thinking of me? Will we really meet? Are his words true? Is he for real? Could it be more that this? When will be our next video call? These questions rush in my head, feeling both positive and negative.. I find myself day dreaming about the future, the positive future and hope that I'll be in a relationship and maybe this time it will be the last.. A girl can dream diba? Hehe!
I admit, I got smitten by mystery guy at first video call.. I felt something that I didn't fell with Chad, my last relationship.. 5 years with Chad and he never given me a phone call, I had to ask him to call me. With the mystery guy he gave that to me without me even asking for it.. It felt so good, it felt that I matter.. From there on, I thought we had a connection, a more deeper connection compared to the guys I'm just texting with.. But lately I noticed a change, he is being skeptical and skittish..
I don't like being rejected.. The next time he message me, Ive decided to be upfront with my feelings.. I'll tell him how I feel and my intewntions.. Although, I get the underlying message that he is probably unsure or just being nice to me; (thats what my gut is actually telling me).. I need the confirmation.
I think, I owe it to myself to stop this things being dragged out.. I'm over thinking, I'm getting anxious, I'm getting pissed, and I'm beginning to feel hurt.. So Im going to face my fear of rejection and hope it wouldn't hurt more compared to what Im feeling now..
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