Blog-huh?

I’m not really sure what I want to write about. My birthday is coming in a couple of weeks from now. Things are getting to me again. I guess its the part of refection before I get a year older. I’ll be 28 this year.

28 and Single.

I’m not dating. Not even having casual sex. Which I want to try out. Sex without feelings, not getting involved, not having a slightest feeling towards the person. Just plain Sex sex sex... I sound like a horny bunny huh? Haha! Horny Bunny. That what Me and Oliver were before. Did you know that we started calling each other ‘honeybee’ before the ‘hunnybunny’. I guess honeybee is the starting point. When the both of us are in the stage of huggying, snugging, butterfly kisses. flirting, alot of small kisses and more of the happy time talk. I was a different person back then. When I’m inlove. I think i was a better person compared to now. The way i think. The way i move, The way I judge situations in my life. Somehow I miss my love self.

Getting over with someone who we loved so much, is the most hardest thing to do. It make my world go upside down. Ironically,
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Right now, I don’t want to be in a relationship. I want the thought that someone is there to comfort me. A friend that I can hug, and share my thoughts, cry with me and laugh with me, Someone who will never get tiered of telling me that my world will be better, to never stop hoping that it will get better. Of course after that we can just have a hot sexy sex. Just sex. Nothing more. Sex and friendship. Isn’t that great? Sex and Candy.

Oooh.. This makes my heart aches. I want it to stop. Its not aching because of the break up. I think I already made my steps towards that. Its more of feeling being alone. Rob ask me last saturday, if I get envy to people in that bar who is with someone. I told her ‘no’. And She said that I’m ‘over’. After she said that I felt that I lied to her - a little. I wasn’t envying the all, I was envying one couple, Well, I was a little bit envy and jealous to Pet. There they are hugging each other. So cute! If he was mine.... Oh.. we will be doing alot more in public, than hugging. hehe!

Beho is mocking my Coffee! and I’m hating it! Who ever in the world invented that Beer is way Cooler than coffee! I think coffee have more advantage compare to Beer! You only look for beer as a excuse to do something more extreme, and wont be embarrassed about it the next day. Cause We have an excuse! It stupid, but we do need something to keep our ego and pride up high. At first I though i like him. But as i get to know him in time. beyond the cute chinky eyes of him. nothing more. I don’t like the way he think. They way he see things. The way he analyze cases. I think he is immature, even though he had his heart broken. Its a cocktail of bad judgement and immature decisions. I still don’t know what to call it. This is why i see him less and less. Talk to him less. Its like there the things I though we both share, was just a mirage. yes a mirage. Maybe that time i was just dehydrated.

Most of the time life sucks!

Written: 15 of April 2008