Friday, August 29, 2008

GREEN is IN

Even though I have a hand-full of good reasons to convert to be a vegetarian, I have one reason to keep on eating MEAT.

“That sweet metallic taste”
from Oliboy’s Blog

One of my favorite Blog links is my friend’s Blog Spot “Oliboy’s Adventure” site. His dossier of (mostly) food, diving and his vexation experiences– read his Cebu Pacific Story. Oli is the one who introduced the Blog Spot for me to use for my blog posting. I used to post blogs at my Multiply site. I still manage my Multiply site. It’s best to use for Picture Albums, Video Uploads, and collections of my favorite Web Links. For a more vivid description of the site, check out my Multiply site at the left panel, under My Link – My Multiply.

A penny for my thoughts:

Going back to my dwelling of “being vegetarian”, I’ve been trying to put an end to my meat diet. I want to train myself not to look for sweet bloody taste that carnivores love, but after awhile of not having any beef intake, I find myself craving for it! When craving, it is hard not to get what I want, especially when I can afford an order of Rib Eye Steak, worth 2,000 pesos, not that I’m bragging.

There are tons of reasons to convert, and these reasons even includes the healthiest reasons to stop my meat consumptions, but still I can’t brain wash myself to turn into a green eating herbivore.

I dwell into this, A lot.

Animal Slaughtering


When you get to see how unethical other companies slaughter their beef products, it will make your heart ache. The technique that they use is so vile, grotesque, horrible, it will make you feel sad and sorry for the four-legged animals that are being butchered to death, just for the sake of satisfying our carnivorous inclination. I haven’t experience this kind of grotesque slaughtering yet. The nearest experience I had was on my 7th grade field trip at Monterey Farm, where they showed how they slaughter the pigs and cows by means of electrocution. I could barely open my eyes that time and I keep on humming songs to myself to channel off from the frightful cries of the poor animals.

I never wanted to experience (again), or to be exposed, or not even to come across with such hideous form of animal slaughtering. I mean, if Monterey is one of the acceptable form of animal butchery and I have no guts to watch it, what more to the other underhanded companies who kills their products in a very inhumane way- like the ones that’s being televised on the local channel “Reporter’s Notebook” show.

Ironically, I feel sad now, ashamed that I am having a baby bro burger from Brother’s Burger for lunch today. So much about me dwelling on I wanna be a Vegetarian.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

224

As I checked my Blog Site to reply on my friends comment, this was the number displayed at the bottom of Blog site. I got the feeling that this is the answer to my prayers. The sign that I’ve been asking to help me make my decision. I am (still) internalizing, as I write my thoughts out for my Blog today. The sign that will help me determine the Black or White. Yet, I’m still not decided. I haven’t wholly consumed the courage, for the meet up. HELL, I don’t think I’ll ever decide till that day comes. The day I will finally face my own demon


- Myself.


Thinking about this situation over and over, I’m starting to think that my cousin Moni, is Right. You see, Moni is the only person who thought that O wanted to Meet Up just to Apologize to me in person. I guess, O thought that IM is not personal enough for an Apology. What I don’t get is, why after two, or maybe three years (Who’s counting)? Where we should have already moved past the “being sorry stage” and should be “moving on” with our own lives now. I want to gasp the conception of this type of thinking, cause right now I’m thinking (For worst-case scenario purpose only) that O is having some trouble in his life and his friends (now) are not enough for comfort. I don’t think I can be friends with him. Anyways, I think that its still early to think about this scenario. For now, Let’s leave the “worst case scenario” topic and turn to a different direction – my own sentiment.




You see, I think meeting him has nothing to do about my love for him. I think this is happening for me, for myself. After all this time copping up, moving on, living my life again, in other words, Healing. I got no proof for myself to where I stand, where I am. Before or maybe till now (I let you be the Judge for it), I thought that I was in a place called limbo. Lost. Misplaced. Absent. Unrecoverable. Soul Searching. I think (maybe now), its time to know where I stand. To finally know if I have improved, grown up. He He! I can’t believe that I am saying this, to think that I haven’t still decided if I should or shouldn’t meet him. My head and heart are battling on which decision is best to choose. I don’t want to be stressing about this over and over, so I’m doing this. I’m letting this out. Saying all this, for the world to see and maybe, just maybe there will be hope of good riddance dropping my way to make things a cinch for me. I am scared, terrified of what might happened. This chapter of my life, I might find it hard to handle, or worst, it might put me back to zero. I don’t know if I am ready to face this cost. There is a voice in my head that’s been telling me to “Face it! Meet him Up” and little voice in my heart saying “what if you are not ready?”. These supposed to be like my sub-conscious (right?), helping me to decide the best choice, but as of now it makes my DSS harder.


The number 24 signifies a special number in my life. It’s the number of our anniversary day. When I ask for a sign, I think HE will select something that gives importance to me, something only I can distinguish.

Monday, August 25, 2008



I would like to make some clarifications from what I said on my previous post. When I said that the Novel was written in a poetic manner of writing. I’m correcting that statement. It is not poetic after all.

My bad fellows!

I was reading Chapter three during the time I’ve written the previous post. I found myself haywired on the story. Thus, made me re-read the Novel all over again. As I began back reading the Novel, I envision the story vividly. with a Reading the Novel the first time, I got confused. The Novel was written with a grand scale of words. Words that made the sentences hard for me to comprehend. I can’t imagine the story thoroughly; my imagination of the Novel was not vividly envisioned. I was greatly interrupted from reading, since there were a lot words that I encountered for the first time. It kept me busy, pausing from reading, to look up for the meaning of the words over the dictionary. Which gives witness to the range of vocabulary I have, proving to be very little.

Summing-up the story, it was pretty jovial. It pretty sums up the title of the Novel. From the grotesque and melancholy proclivity relationship between “the complainer” and Lucinda, to Lucinda’s one night stand with Bedwin, to Lucinda’s turning point- realization that she and Matthew belong to each other, made Matthew a sweetheart at the end of the story. Lucinda’s character was anomaly, her choices of action/ decision made her existence in the story rich. Understanding her idiosyncrasy was the toughest part of novel. The Author had a weird way of telling the story. It made me wonder what was he thinking the time he was writing the part of the “monster eye” scene. Anyways, there was gossip spreading that this novel might come out in a movie late next year. Maybe by then, I could understand the story more completely.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Foolproof


I just want to lie in bed. Eyes Shut. Body relaxed. Inhale. Exhale.


Its been what? Two Days? And I’m not doing any better with the situation. The World Wide Web is my Social Life right now. Why does He have to intervene with it, dropping me a message at my YM? Why does He have to evade my cyber space? Since after my Birthday this year, greeting me a “happy Birthday” and “how are you”, I wanted that to be our last Link to each other.


Now, He wants to meet up? For what? Isn’t asking over the net enough to know how am I? Does He need a foolproof by seeing me? Does He need to really know it, physically- meaning Literally? I don’t understand the rationality of seeing me in person. I don’t know if it will do good to both of us, correction to Me. In spite having a lot of questions cropping up my brain, which right now, is debating between choosing between black or white. Which to choose? Hmmmm…. If only the color grey is one of the selections. I feel dreadful! Not knowing what to opt for. I need a sign! Mr. Almighty, please help me with this one? Send me a good riddance sign to help me aim the best decision.


I got until the end of this week to know and find out my choice.


I have to trust myself with this.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Decision

Coming back to the office, I was not prepared to have this conversation.


Oliver Co: pssst...
Oliver Co: busy?
Vmlipio: yes? sorry. was out
Oliver Co: im happy to hear that you messaged me back
Oliver Co: just checking
vmlipio: ah... okie.
Oliver Co: i just opened my old y now
Oliver Co: ym
Oliver Co: it works pa pala
Oliver Co: where you at?
Vmlipio: of course it works....
Vmlipio: office.
Vmlipio: i just got back lang eh. its raining hard outside
Oliver Co: same here
Oliver Co: lunch out?
Vmlipio: nope... errands.
Vmlipio: errands for dad
Oliver Co: hmmm
Vmlipio: how are you?
Oliver Co: i see
Vmlipio: bilis mo na mag type ah!
Oliver Co: im good
Oliver Co: hehe
Oliver Co: improving ba
Oliver Co:?
Vmlipio: yeah.... you are...
Oliver Co: i wanted to see you
Oliver Co: if thats ok with you
Vmlipio: hmmmm.....
Vmlipio: haha!
Vmlipio: wow!
Vmlipio: i
Oliver Co: do i have to beg?
Vmlipio: i'm speechless
Oliver Co: pls
Oliver Co: saturday?
Oliver Co: i just want to talk
Vmlipio: i can't saturday. got plans na. maybe next weekend....
Vmlipio: talk?... we can chat now
Oliver Co: ic
Oliver Co: ur right
Oliver Co: maybe next time
Oliver Co: how are you?
Vmlipio: i'm okey.
Oliver Co: glad to hear that
Vmlipio: nothing much has changed
Oliver Co: i really wanted to see you
Vmlipio: its weird noh? since then, never bump into you...
Oliver Co: btw, i got ur new sun no.
Vmlipio: talaga? from whom?
Oliver Co: il let you know when i see you
Vmlipio: haha! why is that so?
Vmlipio: secret ba?
Oliver Co: so we could have more tpic to talk to
Oliver Co: hehe
Vmlipio: haha! i don't think that will be one of our problem.
Oliver Co: i know we have more to talk
Oliver Co: we havnt spoke in?
Oliver Co: years?
Oliver Co: i just wanted to catch things up
Vmlipio: well, kinda think of it. parang wala naman to talk about eh. just the usual 'how' and 'who's'
Vmlipio: yeah... years..
Vmlipio: haha!
Vmlipio: tagal na noh?
Oliver Co: sobra
Oliver Co: it cold happen pala
Oliver Co: could
Vmlipio: Just answer this for me. Why now, after all this time?
Oliver Co: i still care
Oliver Co: you know that it was very hard for me
Oliver Co: durng that times
Vmlipio: oh my... let's not start the drama.... we should be done with it
Vmlipio: haha
Oliver Co: i hope its not too late
Oliver Co: i mean
Oliver Co: i just hoe you could see me
Oliver Co: pls find time
Oliver Co: but i will inderstand
Oliver Co: understand
Oliver Co:if you think we should not
Vmlipio: set a date next week. i'll see you. you can ask me the questions. But first, who gave you my number?
Oliver Co: no one
Vmlipio: You want the honest opinion on your question?
Oliver Co: hit me
Vmlipio: Haha!
Vmlipio: your not oliver.....
Vmlipio: who's this I'm chatting too?
Oliver Co: its me
Oliver Co: why would you think that?
Oliver Co: hey val
Oliver Co: its me
Oliver Co: can you call me?
Oliver Co: in my office
Oliver Co: hey you there?
Vmlipio: yes
Vmlipio: fine fine fine.... if you are oliver, what was the last thing you said to the the last time we talked?
Oliver Co: when you viited me at home?
Oliver Co: val its me
Vmlipio: yeah
Oliver Co: we didnt agree with one thing then
Oliver Co: pero hinatid kita sa kotse sa kotse ni rob
Oliver Co: sabi ko nga ako na maghatid sayo e
Oliver Co: val its me
Vmlipio: alright... its you
Vmlipio: schedule it na lang next week. weekday. greenhills area. i'll meet you there
Oliver Co: im very sorry kung ngaun lang ako nagkaron ng lakas ng loob to talk to you
Vmlipio: i understand.
Oliver Co: thank you


This is the conversation I just had earlier today with my Ex. He wants to meet up. It was aggressive of him asking me that.

You see we had a very bad break up. Ever since the time I went to visit him, which was a very long time ago. Faith didn’t seem to see it fit, fit for us to meet up accidentally after the break up. No bumping to each other into the mall, or even seeing one another in the car on the streets, not a even a glimpse or a shadow that prove that the both of us still exist in the world. I wasn’t anticipating this, Not at All. The nearest thought is, I know that this will happen One Day – The Day That I Was Not Supposed To Know That We Are Going To Meet Up.

Now, I don’t have to worry about it. Since its Him, not Faith that let the “supposedly meet up” happen. I don’t know how to decide, decide if I will or will not meet him up. My head feels like whirlpool. I’m thinking of things that I shouldn’t be thinking about. I have these thoughts in my head that I shouldn’t be worrying about. I’m scared, to tell you honestly. I don’t know if this is a sign that I moved pass the Hell that I’ve been into, or even in it. Dammit!

I’ll be facing this problem a week from now. I have yet to decide. I hope I can gain the right Choice for this one. I also hope that I will have the strength to move past and be done with it.

I have yet to decide for now.
May all the Angles help me!

Verdict is Should I or Shouldn’t Meet Him Up?


Once again I was at the bookstore at Serendra. Browsing under the Romance section, looking for another Vampire Novel by Lyndsay Sands, unsuccessfully. I tuned to the Fiction selection behind me. There I found this Book Cover that caught my eyes.

The Book Cover had me at awe.

With the bold colors of florescent pink and canary yellow and a girl holding a guitar, I took the book out of its shelve. Turned the pages to chapter one, reading the first few paragraphs, I found it to be amusing, poetically described, and sophisticated.


Right now, I’m almost half done reading the Novel. I expected to finish reading overnight, but I was challenged by the writer’s poetic writing style. The writer’s vivid description details the story in a elegiac approached of writing. The paragraphs are constructed in a poetic manner, that I am having a hard time understanding what the Writer, Lethem is pertaining too since I’m used to reading Novels by Writers such as Nicholas Sparks, Sophie Kinsella, Stephenie Meyer, and Lyndsay Sands, who are all easier to decipher.

Reading “You Don’t Love Me Yet” is my first in this form of style. Lethem also uses a lot of profound words in the Novel, which makes me utilize my Oxford Dictionary often. I keep a stash of the words that I encounter in the Dictionary, for future usage, Hopefully for my blogging.

The story of the Novel gets twisted, compared to the back cover that explains the novel’s plot. The story became eerily disturbing at the part where “the complainer”, is not the Band’s Lead singer, Matthew, who is your typical Rock Star idol and Lucinda’s ex-boyfriend in the band, and that “the complainer” who looks like an old sexual unattractive groin, who Luncinda fell in love with. Ironically, “the complainer” is the source of Lucinda’s inspiration for their break up song, which I will soon find out the mainspring of the break up song, once I finish reading the novel. I hope Lucinda will be back with Matthew towards the end of the story, rather than being single which I will find pathetic.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

So I was updating my download movie trailer for iPod at iTunes, and this caught my attention.


The guy from the movie Juno, Michael Cera is so cute! Cutie in an adorable geeky way, if you know what I mean. I love the masculine look of his face, a face with character and naivety. For me, it got that playful air, like I got no idea how will he react if something bizarre was to happen. Like the guy from the movie, In The Land of Women – Adam Brody, he got this geeky, dorky, slow-witted face going on or even the guy from the movie, My Sassy Girl (US), uhhmm… Jesse Bradford, is it? I find him Hot too! They all possess the idiot looking charm. Haha!

I get tired of the same chiseled features with the likes of Eric Bana or Brad Pit. But, can I just mention that Pitt is so HOT in the movie Troy! His wide chest and muscular yummy body! I can just imagine myself doing... Well, a lot of things *Wink*. Enough of my day dreaming, more of the movie.

I’m surely going to watch this! This will be on top of my movie list! Thank God for the talented writers and discriminating taste of movie producers. I think this movie will be one of the awesome chick flicks films! I’m betting that it will be super hilarious too! I just hope they come up with one-liners in this film. It will be a plus for me. I love writers that come up with such lines. It makes the movie more distinctive, you know, memorable! The film itself is pretty star-studded too. In a scale of 1 to 5, the 3 star rated actors, who had roles in comedy films, such as Superbad, American Pie, and Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle, those kind of actors are in the movie.

Once it hit the theaters, I’ll be watching it on the first day! Unless it hits Metro Walk Dibidi stands in no time. Hehe!

Monday, August 11, 2008

Fought at the 4xForce

Its was raining cats and dogs that cold Saturday night. My sister who is still recovering form flu decided to stop taking her dreaded medications in favor for the legendary SMB Light…

Earlier that night…

I was in the shower in a hurry to get myself cleaned. I over heard my Amah arguing with my Achie to stay home. On her defense, Achie reasoned out to Amah to just let her go and have her SMB weekend at peace. Knowing my Achie, she must, in any way, gotta have her SMB weekend nights accomplished by any means.

Dressing up quickly with hardly time to blow dry my hair, I rushed out my room while putting my hair into a knot and balancing my bag on my shoulder. On my heels, I was between walking and running. I hopped on the stairs, out the door, and into the Van. Catching my breath I settled myself on the seat. I popped the light open, pulled my compact from my sling bag and checked my face in the small mirror I had with me, inspecting the rushed makeup I put awhile back ago.

I decided to treat myself a drink from Starbucks. We dropped Achie off first at Four by Force, since her friend was already waiting, while I with Jamon made a detour to the nearest Starbucks Store around the area.

Chitti-chatting and drinking, Me, Achie and a friend, started to talk giving out our own point with the subject that I cannot fully say what’s it about, since it’s a very delicate matter (as of now), concerning critical issues. The height of the argument was between Me, Achie and her Friend; Jamon was just there drinking and eating BBQ’s and listening to three of us squabbling.

Each one of us has a reasonable point. My Achie was hurt, as she tried expressing her feelings while doing her best to understand the other party’s side. On the other hand, the friend beside me expressed gratitude towards my Achie’s concern while explaining to me the issues on the matter. Hoping that it will subside soon, so we can move on with our lives. On the contrary, I’m not much focused on the distant future but more on wanting/needing to be “comforted” right here, right now.

Before saying anything more with the topic. I like to say to the readers who are part of the issue. Its not my intention to write and stir things up. This is just my opinion. I highly doubt, that it will come to that point. But anyways, as early as now, I would like to apologize if I do, offend anyone. Like I said, its just my point of view and I don’t intend to displease anyone saying anything more with the topic. .

My point of view: When one is hurting and vulnerable, I believe that it’s best to agree initially with the person, even though he or she might be wrong in ratio with the problem. We all come to learn that not all humans could absorb the rational reason behind the problem’s situation. So initially, to gain the person’s confidence and for the person to feel that friends are empathizing with the situation, I think its best to just shut up, listen and nod, till the person comes to his or her senses to think rationally about the problem. In this way, comforting will be held on its place and will not misinterpret comfort with attacking. It’s one way to reach out. Some of you might find this to be a hypocritical way of solving things. I am not saying this will solve the problem. I am merely giving out my thoughts of the comforting matter. I think with regards to solving the problem, logical reasoning can be injected when the person is already comforted, and with his/her mind is in its rational state.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

R.I.P. Michael


Got the news the other day,
a child's innocence taken away.
(You were never scared, I'll always care)
Grandson to son and a memory we'll never lose in time.

Am I making you proud of me?
'Cause I know you can hear me.

You were too young, too fast for you to go
and now I don't understand why.
I can't stand to watch a mother and father cry.
I look up to you.

Four years your younger brother caused me to always wonder why.
(If it's the only way, I'll talk to you)
Home is not home, I swear I'll still see you.
I miss you.

Am I making you proud of me?
'Cause I know you can hear this.

You were too young, too fast for you to go
and now I don't understand why.
I can't stand to watch a mother and father cry.
I look up to you.


Michael by BedLight for Blue Eyes


I’ve been listening to that song for days. In fact, it’s my song of the week! At first I just sing the tunes. Never really bothered with the lyrics, until I found myself babbling the wrong words and its shameful to sing the song with wrong lyrics so I decided to search for the lyrics and here is what I found out.
This is the start when I gave more thoughts to the lyrics. I knew the song was “emo” from the start. It has the rhythm of a sad story.

Now, these are the facts that are obvious with the lyrics.

- Michael died in a very young age.
- The Grandfather is the one singing the song for him.
- Granddaddy misses Michael.
- Michael’s parents are mourning for his death.

Let’s see, I’m lost with the line “Am I making you proud of me?”. I don’t get why the Grandfather is saying that to Michael. If Michael died in a young age, what did the grandfather do, for Michael to be proud of? Another angle, how did Michael die? I’m betting that Michael was aborted. I got a strong feeling about it. Even though the parents cried at Michael’s death, I think, it was when the parents have realized Michael’s value.

I’m stressing too much huh?

You see, Michael’s song made an impact on me. Right now, I’m thinking “freshmen” by the Verve Pipe. For peep’s who are not familiar with the song, it’s about abortion. I got this absorption that the songs “Michael” and “Freshmen” have the same concern- Abortion. But I can’t quite point my fingers to it. I think the “Michael” lyric is missing an important essence to make it whole.

So much about the song *Sight*

Wherever you are Michael,
May You Rest In Peace!

Friday, August 01, 2008

Eastwood & a pack of Cig’s

Initially I started this Blog as my “Cyber Diary”. I needed something to keep my sanity. I have this sort of depression, which I think I brought upon Myself. I think its an insecurity that has something to do when I got my heart broken; broken by someone I thought to believe that we are destined to belong together and Finding out later that he wasn’t strong enough to be My man. Obviously I got that line from a song. That used to inspire me. Haha!

I like to do a lot of things, ones that give me boosts, boosts of interest, which help keep my little fountain of sanity (metaphorically speaking). Whenever I do get my hands on that new particular interest of mine. I start to read text, do experiments, Google and even Wikipedia it. In other word, I like to learn a lot about it. Then have fun with it as I go along. I want to be good at it. Let me rephrase that. I want to be the Best at it! Let just say the faster the fountain fills the pool, the quicker the sun absorbs the water. Thus, leaving me depressed and later on leading myself to do another search.

One Tuesday night, I went out with my friend Q. We headed to EastWood City for a change of atmosphere. We always go to Greenhills. I don’t know exactly how we spend our time there. Maybe it’s because I live near the area or maybe we just got use to it, or maybe both. Hehe! I brought my laptop with me, since he always bring his red laptop (You Do Q!) everywhere with him. Its like an extension of his clothes, besides from his iPhone and his SLR Camera.

Getting out of his little white car, peering over to the newly painted walls of the parking lot and admiring the star shape patter over the wall, we headed straight to the mall. I always grown fond of Q’s car but he will be selling it! I told him to keep it instead. That little white hatchback civic (LovelyPit as he calls it) bolsters lots of memories. One is, Me burning the side of the interior. I wasn’t drunk or stoned. It was pure carelessness. Knowing me, I did it while I was getting carried away with my blabbing. Haha! I was lucky he didn’t charge me for the damage I’ve cost. Instead he gives me a little pesters every now and then.

After a little window shopping with empty bags on our hands, we looked for a place to fill his empty raucous stomach. Choosing from different varieties of Cafés and Restaurants, We ended up at Starbucks! If there is a place in Manila, or Any place for that matter, You won’t miss me hanging out - it will be Starbucks. Yes I am a Starbucks-Coffee-Dependent *with a grin*.

At Starbucks while lining up to order our drinks, Me and Q were discussing the difference between RockBand for Wii and for Xbox. Since Wii came out with the latest game for Guitar Heroes, which is RockBand Special Edition that including another sets of Guitar, Drum and Microphone. I must give emphasis on the Drum set. From the looks of it, it’s way cooler. They even added fan-like cymbals besides the 4 cylindrical drums and the foot pedal. Besides the new sets of console, additional songs were added. Wouldn’t it be nice if the Song “Call Me” by Blondie would be one of the list? Its one 80’s song that still rocks! Another 80’s song “I Touch Myself” would make the list more awesome! Yeah! It will make my RockBand dream complete, err… Almost!

Insight: Disappointment. I made a mistake! All the while I thought the song “I Touch Myself” was sang by Blondie till my friend corrected me (I even ask him to Wikipedia there and then, just to confirm) that is was sang by the Divinyles. This hurts my accumulated knowledge of the music world. Haha!

Getting tired of EastWood and its surroundings, we decided to transfer to another location (another run on). We collected our stuff that were on the table and these included my pack of Winston Lights in its cute little rubber devil case and the newly bought plastic lighter in jet-black (since the fluid from my favorite Chrome-Black Playboy Zippo dried up). Q packed his stuff as well - Marlboro Cig’s, SLR Cam, etc. We headed to the parking lot towards the LovelyPit, and this is where we started to talk about my Blogging.

The current interest of my life…

 

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