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Home by Dishwalla

I'm so sick and tired of all these things
That drag me down and I've got no where to go
They say that life is in these hands
You give everything and you give yourself away
You give and still you choke
And find yourself, you're running for the door

Come and take me home
Lead me to your door Take me where you are
Lead me to your door
At least just for a while

It's some kind of life, forever days
We're in the cold and unfamiliar way
So take this fear and fade it out It won't make me sad
'Cause I get sentimental Lord in other ways
And I don't want to let me down here anymore

So come and take me home
Lead me to your door
Take me where you are
Lead me to your door
And let me in, just let me in
And let me leave, just let me leave this world
Come on now, let me leave this world
At least just for a while And don't let I find myself,

I'm running for the door And don't let I find myself,
I'm running for the door

Come and take me home
Lead me to your door Take me where you are
Lead me to your door
Come and take me home
To your door, lead me to your door


I recently had a major breakdown and this songs resonates with me.... You know who you are.
Thank you for being such a great friend.

There is something about about watching Pinoy romance movies. No matter how baduy, corny the movie is, it touches a part of my heart. It crunches, makes my breathing shallow. It hurts. My mind tells me not to wait but the heart whispers.

Today my Angkong was brought to the hospital. I've been with him since birth. He is like my father. He is not perfect. In fact he is a very strong person. He is the type of person who you say "matalas Ang dila". When we learned he has CA back on 2004 or 06, thing ls started to change. His personality change. He was nicer and less sunget.

Going back to my First sentence. When he was on the car, and I was looking into his eyes. I never felt so sad looking into someone. I wanted to help. Give him a part of me so that he will be the same Angkong before he left for Baguio. I mean, no matter what or how people share their experiences. It is nothing like going thru the process. I know that I should be stronger and ready. Since I live with him. But I feel that it's nothing like it. I don't think people could be ready. I don't think I will be ready.

Sometimes I wish that I don't have a heart.

I had the most wonderful time is school today. Finally we discussed a topic that I am interested too. Social media. We talked about facebook, twitter, google, how these companies became the master of the world wide web. I finally had the courage spoked out in class. To expressed and share the knowledge with confidence. I'm not big in talking in front of the class. I am so scared to be judge and criticized by others. Enrolling in masters is not what I expected, not even near to what I imagine it to be.


Honestly, For the first 20-40 days in school, it was hard socially and mentally. For the first time I felt like an outcast. I didn't connect to most of my classmates. Felt feel like an imbecile. I couldn't give much knowledge to the case studies. In other words- I feel like shit.


Today in school. It change a little. There was light. A spark of hope. An answer to my prayers. I hope this will continue.