Blog-huh?

life really sucks most of the times. I guess this is good, it makes me appreciate the goodness life bring me. What the fuck am i talking about?! Yeah right! That's what I want to tell myself so I can feel better of what I am facing right now.

Grabe! It feels that nothing good is happening to my life right now. Its like I'm not getting what I want. I'm not asking for a big thing. I just want a little change, a more carefree, exciting life. Something that I could reminisce happily about. You know? The younger days of life, when you don't want the night to end, you just smoke pot and be dopey, laugh, eat. Just be in completely out of this world. No care at all, won't give a damn what's coming the next day... Just a full escape for one night. this pressure that I am dealing right now, maybe be just a small thing for other. but this really sucks. I just wish I could leave this all behind and not worry at all. But I guess I can't, I won't. I don't know. Its just this huge thing going on right now that I don't want to fuck it up and it feels that its eating me up alive. I'm sorry. I'm just really stressed. I shouldn't be apologizing right now, after all its my blog, and i can post whatever I want. but it makes me feel bad, what I'm sharing right now. I don't want to pour it on a friend cause it doesn't make me feel better. I mean, it does cause I can vent it out but after venting, the heavy feeling is back. I don't know. I'm sorry. I'm a ungrateful bitch right now. I apologize for offending anyone, especially my friends. i don't know, its just my life really suck.