Sunday, June 02, 2019
I find myself heartbroken again.
Thinking back to my old boyfriends, I search my mind on how i got over each one of them. But instead my mind pop up the scenarios of the time when I broke up with them, how i handled the ending chapter of my love stories. I realised two things in common;
1. Me breaking it up
2. Feeling lost
I've was told myself that breaking up can't have a good ending. Like ending it gracefully, ending it up civil. It has to have the drama, the fights, the exchange of hurtful words, shouting, and cursing. I do this for me. the only step i know how to move on. Afterwards, I need to change, learn to unlearn, forgive and forget. Now this the tricky part, its you, yourself is the teacher and the student, at the same time. Which metaphorically, the Teacher is the Mind and the student is the Heart. A battle that I now have to face everyday.
Should I follow the heart because of the one reason that made me stay for 5 years in the relationship, or my mind which constantly reminding me that, this is not the relationship I want to live for the rest of my life.
Now I comfort myself by writing this. I need to change, learn to unlearn the love that Ive known for 5 years. I hope this time, time will be my friend and make it easier.
My goal is write, till there is no more feeling to express, no more words to share about the Ex.
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