Blog-huh?

I gave the speech right after dinner. I remember that i couldn't eat and I drank half a glass of wine to collect my courage. My speech is short and simple, but from my heart. I figured since its a intimate wedding, there is no point of expressing much of the Bride and Grooms personality - the two Bestman covered that part well enough.

I hope that Antonio and (especially) Elaine love and appreciate my what I said that night.


Good Evening Everybody.

I'm Valerie.

Thank you Emma for asking me to be your Maid of Honor, I wasn't expecting it.

I've known Elaine since we were grade 6. Our Friendship blossomed during High School.
Elaine is like a Sister to me. We had our shared trials is life. We Fought, we cried, we laugh, we had each other's back.

When Elaine told me that she got engaged to Antonio - That was the first time we spoked to each other after a year of no communication. I remember, I felt sand and happy at the same time.

Happy, cause my Sister is back.

Sad (for a split seconds), cause I'm loosing her again for the second time.

But now, I've realized that I'm not loosing a sister. Instead, I'm gaining a brother.


To Antonio and Elaine:

I'm wishing you the best of both worlds.
Love each other as if it was the first time.
Pray together before you sleep
And most of All (promise me this), I'll be the Ninang of your first born
... Make it soon!
Love you Both!

Cheers!!!

Its been awhile since I wrote my thoughts out. I wasn't in the mood and I see no significant event that's worth sharing, till now (I guess).


My Best Friend Elaine got married last Friday and I was the Maid of Honor. I remember that I didn't enjoy the seat down dinner cause I was so nervous with my speech. Its short, but its from the heart. I'll post it next time, I wrote it down on a piece of paper and its somewhere in my purse.


Before and after the wedding, I (still) feel terrified. You see, both Rina and Elaine are married and my buddy Q, is engaged. I'm the last one in the circle who doesn't have a partner. I'm scared. I'm really scared that, what if there is no one for me out there? What if I'm destined to be single for the rest of my life? I've been trying to tell myself that its going to be alright, that I will live to accept it. But as each day passes by, I feel hopeless, worried, scared that this is my life would be. I don't want to be single for the rest of my life. I don't want to be lonely. I'm lonely every single day. I mean, I put up a face that I'm alright and strong and I have accepted my singular livelihood but I'm having this melt down or whatever you call it. Gosh, I don't even know if I wanted to post this and share with you all but I wanna be true to myself at one point. I don't want to pretend that my life is great. Funny, cause when people ask me how I am, my answer is already 'I'm great'. Its harder pulling this thing off and not telling anyone the truth about it. It scared me that when I tell, I'll see this pathetic look on their faces and they try tell me that it will be alright, that the right guy will show up soon, all that crap; cause when I look in their eyes, I don't see the hope that someone is out there for me.


How come it feels that I'm the only single person who feels this way? This sucks!