Blog-huh?

YOU MUST BE KIDDING ME! I just finished writing a freaking blog and it doesn't come out!!! SHIT! I didn't even back it up!! This is really Shitty! I was really serious about it!

If I was to have a baby that would be the name written in the Title. The supposed to be Blog before this was better. Now, I'm not in the "feel" mood. So, I'll just cut it short.

If I was to have a baby the name would be Sean Sebastian. You see anytime soon, the "greatest" love of my life will be a"father" officially. I just finished watching the movie "Knocked Up" Starring Seth Rogen and Katherine Heigl. In my case, I avoid watching movies that includes "pregnant women" and "babies". Need to explain? For non-friend. You'll get the chapter of my life that I have no intro written at all. If you haven't watched the movie. GO and SEE it. For the people who already seen the movie. I hope I am enlightening you with my thoughts. I want to experience that kind of life. It not pleasant at first. But it was better at the end. Before this movie, I want my life to the the Julia Roberts and this AIDS guy, Dying Young. Taking care of a person unconditionally. But in reality, I always see myself as the "My Bestfriend's Wedding" show. I want to life my life in a brighter side. But i know that i'm not going too. I mean hello, I'm 27, single, not even as sexy or good looking as Katherine. I'm not meeting anyone that I think about "twice" too or anyone "new". I know, I'm bing pathetic.. But Hey! Someone quoted "We live in a cynical world". Corny huh? But good things happen to people. But I don't know in what loop hole mine is getting into. I'm depress and I don't know anymore what I can do with it. I know something will eventually happen in my life that will take a high part in my history. But I know that I will die young. So, technically, I don't have much time. Where is that bright side of my life? My chest feels heavy. I want to cry. Really badly. but i can't. Cause, I know if i did, I'll be back to zero. Where i used to be. Am I making any sense to you? Most of the time, I think that I'm going crazy. Wild thought run in my head and it doesn't make sense at all. This movie, "knocked Up".. made a really huge impact on me. it made me write this (the second time around). now my mind is going __________. So, I'll just end it by saying.....

P.S. I think it's a Girl